As a 52-year-old woman, I am running low on oestrogen, and this is making me extremely intolerant. I was never a particularly tolerant person, but after a couple of deep breaths, a cup
of tea, or a stiff drink, I used to be able to let most annoying things go and get on with my day. I’m not going to bang on about menopause, because menopause moaning annoys the business out of me – I simply recognise that my hormones are making me more of a b****. But over the past few years, my husband’s use of language has been driving me absolutely mad, and it’s not something a bit of gel on my thighs can fix.

Before anyone says, “Oh, another middle-aged woman moaning about her husband,” hear me out. I have been married for 25 years: I met my husband at university and despite the usual difficulties – losing family members, cancer scares, financial worries, some mild adultery – we have overcome obstacles together and remain a strong couple.

One of my husband’s strengths has always been his confidence and ability to communicate. This occasionally strayed into vanity, but on balance, his positivity and desire to impress made him warm and likeable. Since turning 45, his desperation to fit in with younger people has become highly irritating.

He used to say the occasional thing which could make me swear under my breath – he would shout, “What’s up, party people!” as he entered a room, then, “I’m Audi 500!” as he left. I never pulled him up on these phrases as I felt they were age-appropriate for a Gen X man raised on VHS rental films and gangsta rap. What he has graduated to is far worse than embarrassing-uncle sayings, or squirm-inducing business speak (he also likes to “circle back” and “reach out”). He has embraced whiny millennial snowflake vocabulary, along with some of their appalling vocal tics.