The final five must cook a dish inspired by the person who inspired them in their food journey. Best dish wins immunity. Cue the tears.
With the departure of Darrsh for failing to be French enough, there are only five amateurs left, all of them living with the terrifying knowledge that just one tiny slip could see them eliminated, unless they’re Nat. “You’ve all grown so much since you’ve walked through those doors,” says Sofia, concerned about the contestants’ hormonal imbalance. But have they grown enough to win immunity tonight? And does that question even make sense?
It is the last immunity challenge of the season, and it requires the amateurs to open a small wooden box. Sadly, though, that’s not the entire challenge: after opening the box they must then burst into tears. The amateur who cries the most wins immunity.
Wait, no – actually the show keeps going. Inside each box is a photo of a family member of the contestant. They are the people who the amateurs nominated as their foodie inspiration. After amateurs and judges all speak about their food heroes, in a manner so heartfelt and moving that it is, annoyingly, impossible for me to make fun of, the challenge is presented: 75 minutes to cook a dish inspired by the person who inspired them in their food journey. Best dish wins immunity. Simples.
Both Harry and Mimi go straight for the prawns, following the old adage, “when in doubt, go for an invertebrate” – as true in food as it is in politics. Mimi is trying to recreate the flavour profile she recalls from her grandmother’s cooking, and so begins doing some research to find out what a “flavour profile” is: an eternal mystery. Is a flavour profile the same as “how it tastes”? Nobody knows, but Mimi’s ability to find out will be crucial.
The judges visit Sav, who is so overcome by the emotion of the occasion that she
involuntarily turns slow motion. Sav tells them that she is cooking a chicken breast. “Why chicken breast?” Poh asks. Sav has no answer. “Why chicken breast?” is one of those questions without an answer, like “what is truth?” or “Is Neighbours still on TV?” Sav cannot say why chicken breast, she only knows that chicken breast she must. This is the foundation of Zen.
Nat is paying tribute to her mother’s incredible ability to make delicious dishes out of leftovers, which is a huge challenge as it requires her to cook several meals, eat most of them, and then gather the scraps to cook another one. In only 75 minutes this will be difficult, and the fact that, like Sav, she has started to go slow motion will make it even harder.
Poh and Sofia visit Josh. Josh is cooking a venison backstrap. Sofia muses that the most important thing in cooking the meat will be how he cooks the meat. Josh finds this impossible to deny. Poh tells Josh that cooking venison is incredibly hard, who the hell is he to defy the gods in this way? If Bambi taught us anything, it’s that when you apply too much heat to deer, it never ends well.
Andy, angry that Poh is taking over his traditional role as the underminer of everyone’s confidence, redoubles his efforts by visiting Harry to tell him that his idea is weird and stupid. Harry is making prawn tostadas. “A tostada is kind of like a cracker,” he says, as he stuffs the dough with gunpowder. He has never made tostada shells before, which is why this is a fitting tribute to Nonna, who only ever made things she’d never made before.
‘Why chicken breast?’ is one of those questions without an answer, like ‘what is truth?’ or ‘Is Neighbours still on TV?’
Andy moves on to Mimi and tells her that he really loves her idea, presumably just to make Harry feel even more insecure. Andy’s mind games are becoming ever more fiendishly intricate. The judges gather to hear who Andy thinks is the most likely to humiliate themselves. Sofia informs them all that tonight is the last immunity of the season and whoever wins is going straight into finals week. All of them already knew this, but they pretend to be surprised so as not to hurt Sofia’s feelings.
With eight minutes to go, Andy yells, “You’re doing it for the people in those photos”, a useful reminder that any amateur who cooks badly today will make their entire family ashamed of them forever.
Speaking of which, Josh expresses doubt over how his venison is going to turn out, but when he cuts it open, it looks fantastic, though we really only have his
word for it – I don’t know how the hell venison is supposed to look. He is sure his Nanna would be proud of him, though again, we’ve only his word for that too.
Meanwhile, Nat makes the pertinent observation that there is nothing pretty about bone marrow. An important point that none of us should ever forget.
What IS pretty is Mimi’s noodles. They are the best-looking noodles she’s ever seen, and it takes a lot of persuasion to prevent her asking them out for a drink. Mimi hopes that she has made an umami bomb, which I think is kind of like a flavour profile. Tasting her broth, she finds that it is, at best, an umami party popper, and frantically tries to fix it.
Time is up, and now the amateurs must serve their dishes and cry some more for the judges’ amusement. Josh goes first, with his Nanna Marg-inspired venison backstrap. Josh admits the meat would not be leathery enough for Nanna’s liking, but luckily the judges don’t prefer eating leather, and they think it’s great. Jean-Christophe compliments Josh on how well he has crafted the dish despite his enormous fingers, ensuring that Josh’s self-esteem doesn’t rise too high.
Next is Mimi, with her grandma-inspired spicy pork and prawn noodles. “You’re like the umami queen,” says Poh, cryptically, but she appears to think that’s a good thing. “Well done,” gushes Jean-Christophe intemperately. Andy believes the dish could’ve had more bounce, but as this doesn’t mean anything, that’s not so bad.
Sav brings forth her mother-inspired chicken curry. “If my mum saw that she would say, ‘that’s not chicken curry’,” says Sav, which doesn’t seem like a great start, but the judges all agree that Sav’s mum is wrong: it is, technically, chicken curry. “This is by no means a bad dish,” says Sofia, and aren’t those the words every cook longs to hear? In the kindest way possible, they tell Sav that her dish is bad and she should feel bad.
Next, Nat and her mother-inspired roast bone marrow with a whole bunch of other stuff lying around the place. It’s a big weird mess, but with their refined palates, the judges can tell that the dish was made by Nat and is therefore wonderful.
Finally, Harry’s Nonna-inspired prawn tostadas. Sofia could feel the crunch in her brain, which she loves, although it might mean she needs medical attention. Andy waves his hands around joyously and declares that this is a “different side of you” – a slightly different way of serving prawns.
The two best dishes were Josh’s and Nat’s. It’s a close run thing, but after careful
consideration, the judges have decided that Nat’s dish was cooked by Nat. Josh,
unfortunately, missed this essential element, and so Nat wins immunity and her mother is officially proud of her.
Tune in on Sunday, when everyone is disgusted.
