“My father had grown up on a farm and my great-grandfather was also a farmer, so maybe it was hiding in my DNA,” she tells the Herald.

“It never occurred to me to buy a lifestyle block, but as soon as I saw the property, I felt it was my destiny. In hindsight, a bit of forward planning might have been useful, but if I’d known what was involved, I probably would have pulled out.”

After watching Clarkson’s Farm, Hayter says its overall theme hits the emotional notes that it’s supposed to.

“I think it’s a realistic look at what happens when someone who knows nothing about farming gets into farming. Making lots of mistakes, bewildered by animal behaviour, just thinking, ‘Hey, I’ve finally got this cracked,’ and then realising they’ve got it wrong yet again.”

But it’s Clarkson’s financial resources that Hayter finds most unrealistic.

“Clarkson’s unlimited budget is not real. That’s like farming in fairyland.”

However, she admits it’s easy to identify with him, despite the fact that he is probably putting it on for the cameras, as well as some “clunky” character editing.

“He doesn’t act as though he knows more than he does, and he’s always seeing the funny side or the irony.

“Sometimes he acts dumber than he really is, and I get frustrated with it never going right. Neither do I like the bickering that we see on the show. It worked on Top Gear because of the vibe between him, [James] May and [Richard] Hammond, but the characters on Clarkson’s Farm don’t have the same dynamic.”

When it comes to the specifics of Clarkson’s farming exploits, Hayter says that, while she thinks Clarkson may have “hammed it up for the cameras”, personal connections to animals are often unavoidable.

“When I first got the sheep, I could barely tell them apart, but as time went by, I connected with their individual characteristics and then with their babies and, after that, there is no point pretending they are just numbers in the flock.

“Everyone says, ‘Don’t name them,’ but if you have small numbers, of course you name them. So how do you eat Flossie, or sell Daisy, or separate Speckle and Spockle? It is always hard when some of the sheep take a one-way trip off the property. The best antidote is doing your best to give them a good life, regardless of profit, and a quick, humane exit.”

She says animals are also, as Clarkson portrays, unpredictable.

“Animals on farms bring some of the greatest joys and the greatest challenges.

“Even real farmers have days when animals rewrite the script to a perfectly planned day. Animals escape, or they decide not to do exactly what they can always be relied on to do, or they get caught in fences or give birth unexpectedly. And it pays to remember that all animals, especially the males in breeding season, are guided more by instinct than by what we want them to do.”

Another major part of Clarkson’s plans for Diddly Squat Farm is growing sustainable produce for his farm shop.

Hayter says interested to see how he attempts to make money. She also comments on the fact that growing crops is an unpredictable art.

“I had a large vegetable garden in which I planted differently year to year, and a large orchard in which I harvested whatever the birds decided to let me have, but I didn’t see these as an income stream.

“I think Jeremy’s farming style is definitely influenced by his television show, which is why he tries so many different crops.”

In hindsight, it might be easier for him to simplify with fewer crops.

“It’s heartbreaking when he plants the wrong crop for the conditions, or the pests attack them and he loses the lot.”

When it comes to the tools of the trade, Hayter notes she both laughed and sympathised with Clarkson when watching his on-screen tractor and equipment mishaps.

“It cracks me up when he trots out yet another piece of specialised and expensive machinery and then finds it’s too big for the job, or that he can’t operate it without dumping half a tonne of seed in a pile on the ground.

“Somehow it felt familiar, although in my case with much smaller pieces of machinery. Apparently, it helps to read the operator’s manual, but who does that?”

Things haven’t always been smooth sailing on her lifestyle block either, she admits.

“I got my ute stuck in the mud. I parked my ute on top of a massive trailer that was attached to a massive tractor. I got myself stuck in mud almost up to my waist and had to crawl over duck s*** to escape. Vehicles + mud = guaranteed crash in personal dignity.”

Despite this, she believes Clarkson probably should have known better because “even the experts get stuck occasionally”.

“What was he thinking? Stuffing around in the dark with heavy, mud-stuck machinery? That was dangerous and dumb. As for Kaleb [Clarkson’s loveable farm manager] coming to the rescue, he should have known better and waited for daylight.”

She has a tip for those who might at some point see themselves in a spot of bother: “You never want to run out of options.

“It is definitely smart to plan ahead, but it’s also smart to reassess the situation as you go. If you’re dealing with a potentially dangerous ram, make sure the car is nearby with the doors open, or that there’s a gate you can keep between you and the ram.

“But so often prevention is about the little details – taking another two minutes to set up a cut with the chainsaw, taking a break when you’re getting tired, or setting up safety lines when dropping a tree to ensure it falls where you want it to fall. If you can’t be bothered with safety gear, you’re in the wrong frame of mind to use the machinery anyway.”

One of the big questions people ask is whether Clarkson runs the farm efficiently, compared with farmers of a similar scale, and how much financial support he receives.

“I had only a 10-acre property and it constantly drained money, so I am not qualified to answer this question,” Hayter says, referencing Clarkson’s 1000-acre risk.

“I think Jeremy mismanages the risk because he has a seemingly unlimited budget and, presumably, generous sponsors. That puts his farming journey in a different universe from most farmers.”

Despite the differences in circumstances, there’s an underlying reason why Kiwis have a love for Clarkson’s Farm, and it’s probably its spirit and general themes.

“I think a lot of Kiwis feel a connection with farming, dogs on quad bikes, and resilient, farmerish people tending the land, even if it’s not in their daily life,” Hayter says.

“Even when I lived in Auckland, I loved seeing well-tended paddocks and calves and lambs in springtime when I drove out of town. We like to believe in being resilient, knowing that New Zealand grows much of its food, and a connection with what we see as a simpler life.”

Rebecca Hayter’s book High Heels and Gumboots: A City Girl and a Lot to Learn is in bookstores nationwide and online.

Season 4 of Clarkson’s Farm is streaming on Amazon Prime.

Mitchell Hageman joined the Herald’s entertainment and lifestyle team in 2024. He previously worked as a multimedia journalist for Hawke’s Bay Today.