Dressed by Ralph Lauren in the preppy uniform at last year’s Australian Open (from left): influencer Costeen Hatzi; content creator Rozalia and investor husband Nick Russian; actor-singer Chun Wu.Credit: Getty Images
Yuppie puppies, too young to remember the popped-collar polo shirt outbreak of the ’80s, have made Melbourne Park their playground. You can spot them from the nosebleed seats, carefully holding their Aperol spritzes away from pristine white jeans or exiting the Ralph Lauren pop-up store with exhausted credit cards.
The effect is meant to be casual, but the rolled sleeves of those blue-and-white-striped shirts have felt the full force of an iron, to hold firm through long rallies.
With polo shirts, it’s a battle royal between Ralph Lauren’s lost-looking polo pony and Lacoste’s equally confusing crocodile. No matter what logo you’re wearing, the collar should be turned upwards towards centre court’s retractable roof, to reflect the serious styling at recent runway shows in Paris and Milan.
Add a panama hat, Ray Ban Wayfarer or Clubmaster sunglasses and the occasional shout of “well done” or “top shot” and you’ve graduated from prep school to top of the class.
The off-court athlete
Conditioning coach Jona Segal brought the energy that off-court athletes aspire to at last year’s Australian Open, watching Thanasi Kokkinakis of Australia play Jack Draper.Credit: Getty Images
The sweatbands on the wrists of these dedicated tennis watchers are as useful as ashtrays on electric scooters. The only liquid these accessories mop up is overflow from sports drinks consumed from their seats.
While the off-court athlete’s dream is to be mistaken for a tennis player, even from the masters league, they could also pass for a shop assistant from the nearest Rebel Sport store.
Their T-shirt is made from the lightest man-made fabric, with the same logo as their favourite player, whose name they will shout at every opportunity during the match. While their top can be as bright as US player Frances Tiafoe’s attire, the shorts are inevitably black and billowing.
Tops are a size too small and shorts a size too large. The latest sneakers endorsed by their heroes fit perfectly, with white socks at full mast providing a cool contrast.
Take a close look at the soles of those sneakers and you can tell that they’re box fresh, not yet having seen the surface of a court. Chances are high that they will go back in their box until next AO.
The off-court athlete watches the match with unrivalled intensity from behind reflective Oakley sunglasses favoured by coaches.
Advanced spectators carry backpacks or duffel bags, reluctantly accepting that racquet holders may be a step too far.
The princess-in-waiting
Princess Catherine in Roksanda at Wimbledon for the men’s singles final and wearing Self-Portrait for the women’s singles final.Credit: Getty Images
Do you even need to ask which princess these perfectly groomed spectators bow down to? Since Meghan, Duchess of Sussex’s return to the US to pursue Kardashian-style fame, Catherine, Princess of Wales has redefined royal dressing for tennis matches.
Followers of the princess favour form-fitting dresses in block colours that stay within the lines when it comes to propriety by being hemmed mid-calf.
Cleavage is concealed with high necklines. Short sleeves are the only concession to sportiness.
If it wasn’t for the absence of a hat, pretend princesses could be off to the Melbourne Cup (the members grandstand, not the Birdcage – which is much more Wannabe WAG). If it’s sunny, they may resort to a straw hat, to stop skin damage from using moisturisers with hyperactive ingredients, but there will be no feathers or suggestions of a fascinator.
Tennis bracelets are permissible displays of wealth, along with gold earrings and necklaces that look like they could have been handed down from Mummy.
Shoes walk the fine line between sensible and sexy. At the sensible end, low square-heeled pumps, like those worn by the late Queen Elizabeth II, put stealth wealth in your step.
The day tripper
This new breed of tennis-goer is more interested in seeing The Veronicas play on stage than Naomi Osaka on court. If they do see a game, they’re watching from bean bags. What’s the point of sitting inside where no one can appreciate your latest calf tattoo?
The Veronicas – here, performing in Ontario in June – will be at the AO.Credit: Getty Images
The wardrobe is heavily influenced by Burning Man, episodes of Love Island, and anything worn by Bella Hadid. Denim shorts are a staple, either worn tight enough to sous vide internal organs or in the baggy skater style silhouette championed by Billie Eilish.
T-shirts are worn in extreme sizes, with medium styles left on the rack for Boomers and Gen X. Your choices are shrunken baby T-shirts that inevitably creep over stomachs for casual cropping, or boxy styles that can double as doona covers.
The more adventurous choose crochet halternecks, risking unfortunate tan lines while queuing for make-up touch ups at Mecca’s three-storey suite targeting tenniscore teens.
Sunglasses stay on as the sun sets and phone numbers and Instagram account details are traded in the frantic search for a love-all finish.
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