In an ideal world, we would never eat lunch al desko in the office. Let’s face it, in an ideal world we wouldn’t have desks. But here we are, in 2025, back to almost pre-2020 levels of office attendance. The horror!

Come back to the office, they said, it’s good for team morale. But not if team members eat smelly food at their desks, with the not-so-subtle notes of cat food left in the sun (disclaimer: not my team! I speak only of stinky ghosts of workplaces past).

In the interest of creating happier workplace environments, here’s my totally subjective guide to the five foods you should save for those again-treasured WFH days. Or take to the nearest park (or at the very least, the kitchen).

Tinned tuna

This may be a little hypocritical because if you cut me, I’m sure I’d bleed Sirena tuna oil with a hint of chilli. And they are so very convenient, in those dinky little ring-pull tins that fit neatly in every office drawer. But there is a time and a place, and for me, that’s at home, with a fork and six to eight Vita-Weat biscuits and a jar of pickled jalapenos. In the office, tuna stinks like cat food. And so does your breath in the meeting afterwards. Don’t even start me on sardines. Avoid.

Egg sandwiches

Boiled eggs have become a very popular high-protein lunch on the run option. Very good. If I was organised enough to remember to do it, I’d be right on that bandwagon. But something very bad happens when that same egg is smooshed into mayo, and sometimes – shudder – curry powder, squashed between bread, and then gently warmed by the bus/tram/train ride in. It becomes a sulfur-soaked farty party and I don’t want an invite.

Other fish*

*But not sashimi − and not just because I regularly eat it in the office! Fresh sashimi has a pure, ethereal quality that doesn’t pong like the bottom of a fishing boat. Unlike the fish from last night’s leftover pie/curry/paella that only gets honkier, and more offensive, after a nuke in the microwave. Just. Don’t.

Dim sims or dumplings

In the real world, I’ve never met a dimmie or a dumpling I didn’t love, but in the office, combined with the faint uneasiness of pre-meeting anxiety, they make me want to retch. Close your eyes, inhale and you could be in a stinky, packed bus in the 1980s before deodorant became a thing (at least in Perth). BO with a hint of unidentifiable boiled processed meat and sweaty wrapping? It’s a hard pass.

Kimchi

You lost me at “fermented cabbage”. Yes, kimchi is super healthy and curiously addictive – at home I eat it straight from the jar. But at work, when you don’t know it’s coming, and you’re sitting at your desk quietly plotting your escape or what’s for dinner tonight, it is a pungent punch to the face that only a stint in the sick bay can fix. It’s a no from me.

Instead, why not try some of these nutritious, delicious, not-too-smelly ideasfrom our top food writers? Or keep working from home where the pets and pot plants won’t judge you.