Well it’s official: I’m not moving to China. OK, I never had any plan to — I live so close to Shanghai Dumplings anyway — but their strict new regulations around what topic influencers are allowed to discuss on social media have me worried. How else are Chinese internet celebrities meant to earn their living spreading misinformation about vaccines, cryptocurrencies and erectile dysfunction pills? But even worse, I’m concerned that these kinds of laws will put me out of a job.

Last month, China passed legislation requiring that social media influencers have degrees or certifications before discussing any “serious” topics such as health, finance, and law, or else they’ll fall foul of the Cyberspace Administration. On the surface this seems like a reasonable step that could be replicated here.

There is a tonne of misinformation out there. And the big tech companies that run the social media platforms don’t seem to have done much to curtail it. A video saying “the key to a healthy diet is balance” will never generate them the same revenue as a viral one titled: “I drank nothing but raw Mongoose milk for three months and I feel amazing!” Joe Rogan is happy to litter the internet with unsupported claims such as vaccines altering genes. Kim Kardashian can freely promote appetite suppressant lollipops to young women without a shred of evidence to support their efficacy nor consideration for mental health impact — the lollipops look cute though so that’s all that seems to matter. Social media thrives on sensationalism, and is spewing it out at a rate, so good on the Chinese government for having a crack at curbing it.

In Australia, we have regulations on influencers … in theory. Social media personalities are not permitted to give testimonials of a product if they were involved in its production, sale, supply or marketing. This has been applied to the false claims Belle Gibson notoriously made about “curing” what turned out to be her non-existent cancer although, seven years later, Gibson still hasn’t paid those $410,000 of fines. China’s laws would have shut Gibson down right from the start.

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But my problem with a big crackdown on influencers in Australia is that, well, I’m a comedian. My job is to not take any topic too seriously. Whenever I’m a guest on one of the 7 trillion comedy podcasts, or reacting to a news story with a cheeky Instagram reel, I’m doling out my non-expert thoughts on a subject. On one recent podcast I was asked about sexual health in the modern dating scene. I’m certainly not qualified to talk authoritatively about such a subject — mainly due to a complete lack of hands-on experience — but there I was, making hilariously uninformed statements about wearing full body condoms and finding a lover on Facebook Marketplace.

I had been invited on that podcast as a comedian to make light-hearted quips about the discussion of the day. However, given the sound-bite nature of the internet, my responses could be edited by the podcast producer into short clips and disseminated to millions of people without context. Perhaps some unsuspecting adolescent will watch my sarcastic take on sex, drugs and rock’n’roll and — lord help them — take it as gospel. The original source may now be regulated under Chinese law, but the countless reiterations of the content could be challenging to keep track of, especially with AI bots editing and posting content on their own now. Should comedians be banned from jokes about health?

Nor am I convinced that the Chinese laws are restricting all the right topics. The reported examples of finance, health, medicine, law and education make sense. But what about all the other topics that can be deadly serious: religion, dating, parenting, what oil to use in your car, karaoke, Brazilian waxing – these all have serious ramifications if done incorrectly. And who’s to say a government couldn’t abuse this law to stifle any discourse that portrays them in a bad light?