Having kids is challenging and satisfying. Like running a marathon. Across a desert. While sleep deprived and listening to The Wiggles.

The years are short but the days are long – and filling them can chip away at your sanity.

So, imagine this… As you wade endlessly through the monotonous landscape of raising young children (bless, love them, best thing I’ll ever do, etc), suddenly – there on the horizon – you spot it… an oasis.

Somewhere to retreat, put your feet up and rest your weary bones. Fountains of chilled amber liquid run freely, lush landscaped gardens surround shaded seats, the locals are chatty and care-free, and nearby play equipment keeps the kids entertained.

You have the strangest sense of deja-vu, like you’ve been here before in a past life.

It’s the pub.

However, sadly, this oasis appears to be a mere mirage.

Any parent would agree – in the early years of child-rearing, all we really want is to enjoy a hot meal, cold beverage and uninterrupted adult conversation, somewhere the children are entertained, safely supervised, but out of earshot. That’s the dream!

So, I’m baffled. Where are all the pubs with playgrounds? Why are publicans not capitalising on this desperate demographic?

This missed opportunity is made more obvious to me by my own family’s frequent travels to the UK to visit relatives, which – let me tell you – is basically one long pub crawl.

Pub culture reigns supreme in Britain. The smallest of villages may not have so much as a general store, but if the population is in double digits you can bet there’s a pub.

‘Public houses’ in the truest sense, most cater thoughtfully to the whole family – expansive lawns in their beer gardens, fully fenced playgrounds, free activity kits available at the bar and menus made for colouring in.

But in Australia, cafe culture dominates. We have nearly four times more cafes than pubs and more than triple the number of cafes found across the entire UK.

But given our outdoor lifestyles and enviable climate – perfect for an afternoon cold one in a beer garden – I’m genuinely puzzled as to why more Aussie pubs aren’t positioned as family friendly.

I realise, of course, that from a business perspective, installing play equipment on your premises isn’t as simple as grabbing the Allen key and unboxing a flat pack.

Playgrounds require significant space, engineering, safety considerations, insurance and ongoing maintenance.

However, surely they also boost your patronage – widening your audience, increasing time and money spent, and ensuring repeat visits.

I know if my kids are playing happily and I’m relaxing nearby, it basically takes an act of God for me to leave this rarest of happy places.

Like modern-day speakeasies, we tend to discover these hidden gems only through word of mouth or luck. They’re not nearly as widely advertised and loudly celebrated as they should be.

Canberra clubs often offer designated kids’ zones such as Southern Cross Club, the Tradies and Canberra Labor Club.

Meanwhile, places such as Snapper & Co, The Jetty, The Dock and the George Harcourt Inn may not have formal play spaces but overlook open space for kids to play within view of their pub-loving parents.

However, The Steampacket Hotel in Nelligen and The Lake George Hotel in Bungendore are shining examples of how families and licensed venues can live in harmony – both featuring fully fenced playgrounds, plenty of green space for cartwheeling, and shaded seating areas, creating the dream beer garden for families to actively seek out and regularly return.

“But won’t someone think of the children?” I hear you cry.

Unlike in the UK – where licensing laws have evolved to allow for children in pubs – Australia’s regulations on the matter remain more restrictive and complex.

While not illegal for children to be present in licensed venues, state-specific rules around supervision, signage and venue classifications may be creating enough confusion and bureaucracy that many publicans simply opt out of the whole mess.

Although optimistic, one could posit that the government is genuinely balancing the public health implications of exposing minors to alcohol against the commercial upside of making venues more family friendly.

But if the Brits manage to enjoy a beverage without traumatising their tikes, why can’t we? The question feels like the tip of a much larger conversation around cultural identity and drinking practices.

In any case, perhaps this mysterious mirage is not such a mystery – just the simple result of prickly licensing laws and insurance premiums.

I continue to dream of an increase in the number of pubs with playgrounds. Surely we can strike a balance which serves the wellbeing of our children and a beer and burger for their parents.