We’re told fashion goes in a circle and because of the volume of baggy jeans and boxy blazers on the street, the 1980s have called and they’re back, baby.

But I just want to know when the green cars are coming back. You know, the ones that matched the Laminex benchtop in your grandma’s kitchen.

Supercars are known for the vibrant colours, of course. And I can’t help but stop whatever I’m doing to watch one of the new Fiery Orange EVs from Chinese brand XPeng drive past.

But for the most part, Australian roads remain a dreary picture of monochromasy.

A 2024 report by BASF Coatings, a global giant in automotive paints, found colour choices in the Asia-Pacific region (including us) were largely skewed in favour of white (38 per cent), black (24 per cent) and grey (15 per cent). The highest a remotely exciting option received was five per cent for blue. Green, together with yellow, remained down at two per cent.

Of course, the boring reason we’re given for this is resale value. For the same reason the first thing a buyer of your grandma’s house will do is transfer the entire kitchen to a skip bin.

But after spending a week in the new Nissan Qashqai – in a delicious metallic Deep Ocean – I’ve decided we’ve been sold a lie.

I hadn’t even driven it out of the fleet warehouse in Sydney when I received the first compliment of many about how it is “a beautiful colour”. The last time that happened was when I tested the Porsche Macan, also green, and the BMW M5 before that, a colour-changing blend of purple and green.

Okay, the Cashcow isn’t lime-green. But it’s a start. It also comes in bright Fuji Sunset Red and Magnetic Blue and with options for a black roof.

Unfortunately, this is about as sexy as Nissan’s little SUV gets.

It feels like we only had a new one about a week ago, but this year’s facelift brings some sharper headlights and sleeker wheels, extra tech like a digital display for the driver, wireless phone charging and a 360-degree parking camera, and a reshuffled range.

My mid-spec Ti model starts from $42,965 and comes with a 1.3-litre turbo petrol engine. There is also a slightly more efficient 1.5 litre turbo three-cylinder hybrid version, but only on the Ti-L and N-Design and by then, you’re paying over $50K.

Maybe that’s worth it though.

I used to think Chinese cars had some way to go before they’d reached the Japanese heights of refinement – but not here. The Kumquat is nippy, but also hard to drive in a way that doesn’t have you taking off in fits and bursts, and the steering is a horrible blend of vague and twitchy. Sports mode just made everything worse.

But if you don’t care about this – and chances are you don’t – the rest of the package is quite brilliant.

The interior is beautifully made and very sensibly laid out, with buttons for things in exactly the places you’d expect them to be. It’s a little thing, I know, but the armrests on the doors are also in the perfect position.

It’s not a feast of tech – for instance, I’m not sure there’s any way to change the cabin’s ambient lighting from anything other than a soft green – but there’s sat-nav, phone mirroring and adaptive cruise control. All the stuff you’d actually use.

The heated front seats are also fiery enough to make you wonder if you’d eaten an Indian curry the night before that was a bit borderline.

There’s heaps of space, even in the back. So your jaw drops even further to discover the full-size spare wheel they’ve managed to tuck in under the boot too – you know, the thing that every car used to have but has since swapped in favour of a bottle of white goo.

The Crackpot is the perfect car for people who don’t appreciate too much of a shake-up, then.

So fine – if you must know – it does also come in Gun Metallic, Ceramic Grey, Platinum, Pearl White and Onyx Black.

Please get yours in Deep Ocean. Photo: James Coleman.

2025 Nissan Qashqai Ti

• $42,965 (plus driveaway costs)
• 1.3-litre four-cylinder turbo-petrol, 110 kW / 250 Nm
• CVT, front-wheel drive (FWD)
• 5.8 litres per 100 km combined fuel consumption, 91 RON
• 5-star ANCAP safety rating

Thanks to Nissan Australia for providing this car for testing. Region has no commercial arrangement with Nissan Australia.