My glass, my business
Q. I have decided to stop drinking for a while. My Dry January revealed that I’m not loving my relationship with alcohol these days. The problem: Since I stopped drinking, I’ve had to field uncomfortable questions when I socialise. When I say I’m not drinking, people ask me if I’m pregnant or an alcoholic, or wonder why I don’t want to drink. Any tips? – Abstinent
A. Good for you for continuing to explore your relationship with alcohol beyond the novelty of Dry January. Let me share my experience: When I am self-conscious about something, I have a perverse tendency to make announcements about it – drawing attention to the issue. (It makes a kind of sense, of course: The subject is top of mind and therefore apt to tumble out of my mouth.)
But there is no reason to make a general statement about your drinking – even in response to direct questioning. That merely creates a subject for conversation. When the waiter takes your drink order, ask for club soda with cranberry juice. If your friends ask about it, tell them, “Alcohol doesn’t agree with me lately,” and leave it at that. Nothing I suggest will prevent rude people from asking if you are pregnant or an alcoholic. If they do ask, say: “No! Are you?”.
After a massage, feeling rubbed the wrong way
Q. I booked a massage recently. When the massage therapist left me to undress, she made me wait eight minutes before she returned. When she began the massage, she started sniffling constantly. After 15 minutes of this (and her mediocre massage), I asked if she was contagious. I explained that I have a baby at home. She replied, “I’m not a doctor.” When I repeated my concern, she offered to stop the massage. I agreed. After I got dressed, the woman at the front desk told me there would be no charge for the appointment. But she didn’t apologise or offer to reschedule. I am appalled! – Client
A. Why would you want to reschedule an appointment at a spa where you had a horrible experience? True, the spa personnel offered no apology – but not charging you for your appointment seems apology-adjacent. I would move on now and try to find a massage therapist you like better.
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
Written by: Philip Galanes
©2025 THE NEW YORK TIMES
